Aren’t Sports Supposed To Be Fun?
Sports seem to have become more and more serious these days. As a competitive athlete myself who played collegiate soccer, the higher the level I played and the older I got, the less that everyone was having fun. Almost everyone on my club soccer team earned a college scholarship. However, only about a quarter of my team ended up playing four years of soccer at the same college they initially committed to. The others transferred or quit. On my college team, I would estimate that about half of my teammates over the course of my four years quit. So many careers ended prematurely. I am sure they would list varied reasons for why they quit. However, in the end, I think for most of them that it can be boiled down to the fact that they did not enjoy playing soccer like they used to. If it was still fun, they would have kept playing.
So, What Gets in the Way of Having Fun?
Sports are meant to be fun, but we seem to be losing sight of that. In the sports world today, we have never known more about how to improve as an athlete. Athletes are competitive by nature, so the modern athlete takes advantage of all that the various fields of nutrition, strength and conditioning, and sport psychology among others have to offer. As a result, more money and time are being invested in training, and people want to see this pay off. The easiest way to measure these investments is results (e.g., winning the championship, earning a scholarship, making the varsity team). This hyper-focus on results can take away the fun from sports, as well as the ability to develop athletes to be the best they can be. I read an article once that was attempting to understand why American soccer lagged so far behind their European competitors even though there has been such an increase in participation and funding in American soccer over the last couple of decades. Those involved in European soccer pointed to the focus on results in American youth soccer compared to the European model. In the United States, youth soccer players participated in many more games and tournaments than their European counterparts, with winning being stressed at an early age. However, the European model’s focus was to develop athletes to realize their potential and limit the number of games and tournaments they played.
The pressure on athletes from sources other than themselves can be immense. As technology and knowledge about developing athletes has become more prevalent, the level of competition has improved. Records are constantly getting broken. Greater competition leads to greater pressure for those involved, directly or indirectly. Coaches are under constant scrutiny to get results. This pressure to win can have detrimental effects on their willingness to build connections and develop their players. I have worked with many athletes where their coach was the biggest stressor in their sport. Parents live out their own former athletic careers through their children even though their experiences do not necessarily map out onto the modern athlete’s experience. They might end up pushing their children harder than their children are pushing themselves. It is hard enough to be an athlete – it is made that much harder by how their so-called support system sometimes behaves.
The ease with which we can compare ourselves to others these days also contributes to the reduced enjoyment of sports. We are no longer competing with other athletes in our town, city, or state. We can go on social media and compare ourselves to all the best athletes around the world. Before modern civilizations, it was evolutionarily beneficial to compare. Is everyone in the family/group/tribe doing what they need to do to help everyone else survive? These comparisons were on a much smaller, more manageable scale. Now, our brains are facing comparisons on a scale for which they were not designed! Constantly being exposed to something bigger and better – that takes its toll, diminishing our ability to appreciate what we have and focus on ourselves.
Why is it Important to Have Fun?
Having fun sounds nice and all, but some might argue that fun loses its importance over time – that it is more of an ideal at a competitive level. There is something to this. As competition increases and the stakes get higher, it is only natural for fun to become less salient. There might be legitimate financial pressure on the athlete (e.g., earning a scholarship, making a professional sports team). More fans watch as the level increases, so athletes are under greater scrutiny. However, having fun is still important; if anything, it is even more important. The loss of fun will harm performance. Having fun is one of the biggest motivating factors for any activity. The more fun that we have, the more that we want to do something. So much time and effort are required to be a high-level athlete these days. If someone does not enjoy playing their sport, they are going to be less likely to give what it takes to be their best. Having fun is not just something for kids playing youth sports. Even the professional athletes typically say that they play better when they are having fun and play worse when they are not enjoying themselves.
How to Reconnect With Fun?
I encourage you to think about what first made you fall in love with sports. Reconnecting with your original motivations to play sport might help you reconnect with that childish sense of excitement playing sports. If sports feel like they have become too serious or akin to a job, then implement your own sport-specific activities that you actually enjoy. Be creative! Play your sport outside of the required practices and competitions. Get to practice early or stay late to play a silly game with your teammates. Thinking about your original motivation for sport might help let go of some of the pressure that you are currently facing. It is hard not to let an overbearing or critical coach affect you. However, I doubt that feedback from coaches was what drew you to your sport to begin with. We cannot control our coaches, but we can control how we respond to them. How much power do we give to our coaches in terms of how much we enjoy our sports? Learning how to detach from negative coaching behavior rather than letting it consume you is easier said than done, but well worth the effort.
Another way to increase fun is to utilize goals more productively. By this, I mean relying more on process goals rather than outcome goals. An outcome goal focuses on the end result of an endeavor, whether it is a single performance (e.g., scoring a certain number of points in a basketball game) or across an entire season (e.g, winning the championship). These can be important goals to set, but the thing about outcome goals is that they are contingent upon many other factors besides what is in the athlete’s control. Another team might have a historically good season and end up winning the championship. A process goal, on the other hand, is entirely in the individual athlete’s control, such as effort, attitude, and technique. Examples of process goals include spending extra time in the weight room or using the correct technique when swinging a baseball bat. Regardless of the quality of the pitcher, the batter can stay consistent with the correct technique. Process goals thus serve as the foundation for outcome goals. By accomplishing process goals, athletes are more likely to accomplish their outcome goals. Achieving process goals can also increase an athlete’s level of enjoyment as they feel their confidence improve as they check off what they set out to do.
Focusing on process goals is one of the ways that you can focus on improving yourself rather than being better than others. As previously mentioned, constantly comparing yourself to others is both exhausting and potentially self-defeating. Rather than worrying about how good you are compared to others, compete with the athlete that you were yesterday. Focus on being better than your past self, and you will feel a lot more fulfilled.
Lastly, developing a more well-rounded identity is associated with more positive experiences of sport. When your overall identity is so centered around being an athlete, there is so much pressure for that part of you to succeed. It feels like whether you succeed or fail at sports results in you succeeding or failing at life. With that much pressure, succeeding might not actually bring about fulfillment and joy. Because so much rides on it, succeeding might just be surviving. As a result, achieving your goals (which I’ll assume are outcome goals) might feel more of a relief than anything. And then losing, of course, is devastating. With this in mind, I encourage athletes to think of themselves more holistically. What are other aspects of your identity? What else is important to you? What else do you enjoy doing? Connecting with other activities and other aspects of your identity will not only help you have more fun in the moment, but it was also set you up for an easier transition out of competitive sports. Regardless of how long your competitive career lasts, everyone’s career has to come to an end sometime. So enjoy it while you can!
Do you want help in making your sport fun again? Our therapists can help. To start counseling at Sunrise Counseling in Dallas, TX, follow these steps:
1. Contact Sunrise Counseling
2. Meet with one of our caring therapists
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