The Art of Letting Go
Part of the human experience is having negative thoughts. Even as we learn and grow, the vast majority of people will still have self-doubts. Life is constantly changing, and we cannot prepare ourselves for every situation. And being human, we are not perfect so we will continue to make mistakes. These negative thoughts typically get in the way of us being able to live our lives and connect with others how we want. While it is important to improve how we feel about ourselves and have more helpful thoughts (training the brain to have more positive thoughts and improving self-image are topics for different blogs), in the end, we need to learn how to respond to negative thoughts because eliminating them completely is typically not possible. At its core, letting go of negative thoughts is about acceptance. It requires acknowledging that we cannot control everything, and that some thoughts are best left alone. This acceptance can lead to a release from the burden of carrying unnecessary emotional baggage that negative thoughts result in.
However, letting go is much easier said than done. This blog will focus on the benefits of letting go, as well as some tools on how to do so. First, I want to provide an analogy to illustrate what I mean by “letting go.” Imagine yourself on the side of a busy highway. The cars represent our thoughts. As you watch those thoughts go past, you have a choice. You can get in one of those cars and let that thought take you for a ride. Or you can acknowledge it (e.g., the color, model, etc. of the car) and wave at it as it drives past. When we have negative thoughts, do we give them power and amplify them, or can we acknowledge their presence before releasing them?
So how to let go? First, it is important to have self-compassion for yourself as these thoughts arise. Recognize that pretty much everyone (no matter what their social media accounts might suggest) has certain struggles and doubts. This recognition of common humanity can decrease some of the weight that these thoughts have because we realize that we are not the only ones holding them.
Guided imagery exercises can help with the practice of letting go of thoughts that do not serve us. These exercises involve visualizing peaceful settings and utilizing certain images to represent the process of acknowledging thoughts and then letting them go. One of the most popular of these exercises is called “Leaves on a Stream,” which involves the practice of imagining thoughts being placed on leaves on a stream and then picturing those leaves floating down the stream. Here is a link to a YouTube video that narrates this exercise if you would like to try it out for yourself: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vjKltKKSur8.
The breath is another helpful tool. We are always breathing, so using the breath as an anchor to the present moment can allow us to shift our attention from those thoughts that are pulling us away from the present moment and back to what we are wanting to focus on. See this link for a blog I wrote about the breath and how you can use it more specifically: https://www.sunrisecounselingdallas.com/blog/utilizing-the-breath
Giving that critical inner dialogue a name or a character can also help detach from the negative thoughts. When you think of that negative self-talk, try to picture what it sounds like or who it might look like. Maybe there is a name that fits the voice. For example, you might have had a critical coach from childhood or there could be a character from a movie that captures the voice. Whenever that critical voice pops up, you can identify it with its name or image, which can help create distance from the thought. Rather than fuse with the thought and let it take you for a ride, personifying the thoughts can help you take a step back and view the thought from an observer role. This distance can reduce the weight of it and make it less likely that we internalize it.
One of the most significant benefits of letting go is the creation of space. When we let go of what does not serve us, we make room for new opportunities, experiences, and relationships. In short, we can focus on the present and live a life that aligns with our values rather than letting our negative self-talk be a barrier to who we want to be or how we want to feel. Moreover, letting go cultivates resilience and flexibility. We can make conscious decisions rather than react to negative thinking patterns that over time become automatic and rigid. Letting go also strengthens our relationships. Instead of holding onto grudges or unrealistic expectations, we allow ourselves and others the freedom to grow and evolve. This acceptance fosters deeper connections based on mutual respect and forgiveness, rather than resentment or control.
In conclusion, the art of letting go is not about ignoring or suppressing. It is about recognizing our humanity and giving ourselves grace. It is focusing our attention on what serves us. It is not just an act but a mindset that enriches our lives and enhances our journey towards living a life that aligns with our values.
If you would like help learning more about how to let go of negative thoughts, reach out to one of our caring therapists!
1. Contact Sunrise Counseling
2. Meet with one of our caring therapists
Mental Health Services at Sunrise Counseling in Dallas, TX
Sunrise Counseling offers a variety of mental health services in our Dallas TX-based therapy office and offers telehealth therapy to those residing in Texas and Colorado. Mental health services we provide at Sunrise Counseling include: