How Relationships Can Help Us Grow
We all know the importance of relationships in our lives. And there is an abundance of research that demonstrates the association between social support and mental health. Even with this understanding, classic Western psychology theories viewed human development as a journey from dependence to independence (Jordan, 2010). These theories emphasized the separate self, with autonomy and individualism being the driving forces behind growth and development.
Relational-Cultural Therapy
However, Relational-Cultural Therapy (RCT), a newer theory of therapy, posits that growth occurs through relationships and towards relationships (Jordan, 2010). Rather than becoming more individuated as they develop, people actually become more “relationally complex” (Duffey & Somody, 2011, p. 224). People need relationships to flourish, even to stay alive. As such, many therapists employ an approach to therapy that focuses on relationships in people’s lives as the key to their well-being. According to RCT, mutual empowerment, mutual empathy, and authenticity are aspects that make up a healthy relationship, which RCT terms a “growth-fostering relationship.” This type of relationship leads to positive development in the people associated with the relationship. When reading the descriptions of these three pillars, think about your own relationships and how these pillars either already play a role or how they could play more of a role.
Mutual Empowerment
Feeling empowered gives someone confidence and belief that they can create change in their life that they are wanting. RCT stresses the importance of mutuality in relationships. As such, every person in the relationship not only gives the others a sense of power, but they receive a sense of power from the other, too (Jordan, 2010). The people within the relationship feel surer in themselves because of being in the relationship. Being empowered by someone else is uplifting. It is also uplifting to be able to empower someone else, which creates its own sense of empowerment through being able to have that kind of impact on another person.
Mutual Empathy
In order for empathy to spur change, each person within the relationship must both feel and experience empathy. Again, the mutuality is central here so that the relationship feels balanced and both people are giving and receiving. It is important for people to realize that they can affect another person – this gives them a sense of empowerment. It is also important for people to experience empathy from others – this makes them feel more understood and less alone (Jordan, 2010). “In mutual empathy, people begin to see that they can bring more and more of themselves into the relationship. In this process, they become more present, more open to change and learning” (Jordan, 2010, pg. 25). Sometimes, it takes having empathy for others to help someone instill their own sense of self-empathy. On top of that, experiencing empathy from others can help someone realize they are worthy of empathy and thus start having self-empathy.
Authenticity
Authenticity is the ability to be ourselves in relationships and be transparent about our thoughts and feelings. The more authentic people are in their relationships, the more they are able to be in touch with their own thoughts and feelings and know who they are. Authenticity begets authenticity, meaning that the more authentic someone is with another person and that other person recognizes the authenticity, the more likely that person will be authentic in turn. When people feel comfortable being their authentic selves, they are more likely to put themselves in positions where they create positive change and grow in the ways that they want.
References
Duffey, T., & Somody, C. (2011). The role of relational cultural therapy in mental health counseling. Journal of Mental Health Counseling, 33, 223-242.
Jordan, J. V. (2010). Relational-cultural therapy. Washington, DC: American Psychological Association.
If you want help improving these relational skills, our therapists at Sunrise Counseling can help!
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2. Meet with one of our caring therapists
Mental Health Services at Sunrise Counseling in Dallas, TX
Sunrise Counseling offers a variety of other mental health services in our Dallas TX-based therapy office and offers telehealth therapy to those residing in Texas. Mental health services we provide at Sunrise Counseling include: